


oi mate

by junhuiwishes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Hogwarts, M/M, Sexual Humor, Slow Burn, Textfic, Texting, cedric and harry r pals, chatfic, drarry chatfic, drarry textfic, homosexual slytherins everywhere, i'm not british so i deeply apologise in advance, remus lupin and sirius black are still alive bc i'm not angsty like that, ronmione, voldemortless world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 16:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21377308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junhuiwishes/pseuds/junhuiwishes
Summary: harry texts the wrong number and comes out to his friends and discovers his sexuality and makes a bunch of unexpected friends but not in that order
Relationships: Daphne Greengrass/Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood & Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom - Relationship, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas, Theodore Nott/Blaise Zabini
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	oi mate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harry and ron have a pillow fight while ginny and hermione have some fun

**you're gonna get us killed, or worse, expelled**

**harrypotter**

LADS

AND HERMIONE

**hermionegranger**

i believe you mean

lad and hermione* since you're only addressing one male in here which is ron

**ronweasley**

mione

shut up

**hermionegranger**

gasp

the audacity

i'm feeling so hurt by that statement ronald

**ronweasley**

oh god mione

**hermionegranger**

thanks

i really am god aren't i

also i'm feeling much better about the gc name

although i don't appreciate you 2 imbeciles clowning me 

**harrypotter**

so am i just getting ignored now

i

hate all of u

attention 

please

**ronweasley**

oops

my bad mate

what were u saying

**hermionegranger**

pardon my rudeness please, harry and do go on

**harrypotter**

as i was saying

the yule ball

you know how i asked cho chang to it

**ronweasley**

yeah mate good score

**hermionegranger**

merlin ron, women aren't objects you know 

**ronweasley**

i know mione sorry 🥺

you know.. 

it's not hard to picture you fighting for women's rights when you get older

a famous activist you'd be

**hermionegranger**

thanks ron

anyway

the yule ball was absolutely fantastic

who'd you go with again? @ron

viktor was absolutely charming

**ronweasley**

oh i went with cedric 

he was really nice and kept me company the whole time 

WAIT

HE

EVEN GOT ME PUNCH

i absolutely adore being bi

**hermionegranger**

aw 

that's a keeper ron

**harrypotter**

i can't believe i'm third wheeling in the conversation i started in the groupchat i started

seriously u guys

if you would like a visual aid

disappointment has currently wrinkled my face

**ronweasley**

he's exaggerating

OUCH HARRY 

DIDN'T HAVE TO CHUCK A PILLOW AT MY FACE

BLOODY HELL

it's on

**hermionegranger**

fellas

i'm still here

merlin harry 

at least finish ur cho chang story before engaging in such barbaric activities with ron

ok wait my bad we interrupted u

helloo

helloooo

helloooooo

hellooooooooo

i'm doing this till u 2 stop pelting each other with ur pillows

you 2 are insanely annoying 

whatever bye i'm going to talk to ginny

are you 2 still at it

👀

🌶️🍄🥑😋👅💦💨

well, those emojis are rather loathsome

_

**hermionegranger**

hello ginny

what

is up

**ginnyweasley**

mione

we're literally in the same room

i'm on the bed across urs

really mione 😔

my brother and harry must've rubbed off on u too much 

**hermionegranger**

i was trying to be a 

millenial

or was it baby boomer

**ginnyweasley**

ok boomer

**hermionegranger**

what the hell are you saying

**ginnyweasley**

honestly

i have not the slightest clue

also i think u mean gen z

not a millenial

nor a baby boomer

anyways do u wanna go out 

**hermionegranger**

yeah whatever let's fuck snape

let's go to hogsmeade and get some butter beer 

**ginnyweasley**

let's fuck snape??? 

oh god mione

that is NOT how u use the f word

u don't have to insert the word lets

**hermionegranger**

oh i see... its funny because fuck has a double meaning

, but without the word let us 

i feel as if the sentence i have just constructed is grammatically incoherent and that makes me

uncomfortable 

**ginnyweasley**

uncomfortable yes mione i know

let's just

refrain from cussing every now and then

y the hell r we still texting ur literally right there

**hermionegranger**

? no cussing

that sounds great because i felt as if i aas going to combust as i typed out the f word

**ginnyw** **easley**

yes mione..

i could see the twisted expression on ur face and ur internal turmoil as u rolled around in ur bed

i think ur looking past the fact that we're in the same room

and in case u couldn't hear me

i just sighed really loud

anyway let's go change and get some butter beer

**hermionegranger**

! excellent

**ginnyweasley**

mione

again, we are in the same room and u can just start articulating ur opinions verbally to me

**hermionegranger**

i have a tiny secret i wish to confide in u

i

am afraid of getting caught by snape and

getting expelled

**ginnyweasley**

ur afraid of being caught by dumbledore

damn

i was so close

anyway mione we've been thru this

we're in year 8 so they won't care if we're out of bed or not

we just have to be back by sun up

**hermionegranger**

whew ok

that small speech always comforts me

thanks

**ginnyweasley**

for ur information

i just sighed rly loudly again

but sure no problem

now get changed mione

it's time to get some

**hermionegranger**

oh

you're having 

?sex

**ginnyweasley**

WHAT

heavens no mione

where the hell did u get that from

**hermionegranger**

according to my understanding of the phrase get some, it usually means you'd get laid, which means you'd have to have sexual intercourse

**ginnyweasley**

i meant butterbeer..

we're gonna get some butterbeer

i WILL walk over and hex u

**hermionegranger**

i'm contemplating between two responses to that statement

try me

or 

oops sorry

as ron always says

**ginnyweasley**

...

mione

**hermionegranger**

? yes

**ginnyweasley**

PLEASE JUST GET CHANGED

**hermionegranger**

alright whatever toots your boat

**ginnyweasley**

THATS NOT HOW IT GOES

IT'S FLOATS YOUR BOAT

NOT TOOTS YOUR BOAT

for merlin's sake please just change 

_

**ginnyweasley**

bloody hell brother

ur darling best friend is a delightful piece of work she is

? brother

please don't tell me you're jousting with harry again

you know you'll lose you bloody idiot

anyways can't believe u ditched mione u dick

also we're going out for butterbeer

want anything

ok now i'm assuming you're definitely jousting with harry and losing badly if you're not responding to my texts about food

turkey legs

chicken wings

candy

ok ur annoying ask fred & george to get u candy from their shop then

wait maybe i should try something

bill weasley

charlie weasley

fred weasley

george weasley

percy weasley

molly weasley 

ok i dropped the biggest bomb guess ur dead 

definitely getting ur room tho

**ronweasley**

I SEE MUM'S NAME

WHAT DOES SHE WANT

**ginnyweasley**

and i thought wrong

sInce ur alive i think its right to assume u haven't been jousting w harry 

**ronweasley**

hell no ginny

u know what he did to me

accident or not 

still ruffled up about it

but we were pillow fighting so

**ginnyweasley**

right

pillow fighting

**ronweasley**

oo

get me a butterbeer with extra ginger 

just charm it to float up to my window

another thing you could do is tell fred and george fuck them 

for not giving me a discount at their dumb shkp

shop*

**ginnyweasley**

ight

**ronweasley**

cool thanks

give mione a kiss from me!

**ginnyweasley**

i'm sure u would rather give her that kiss urself

cmon ron

woah that rhymed

anyway

we all know u only asked cedric because u thought it would make mione jealous

we as in

the weasleys

and probably harry

anyway gtg miones waiting

**ronweasley**

i hate that ur always right

GET MY BUTTERBEER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok boomer
> 
> anyway how r u all!

**Author's Note:**

> hello!


End file.
